My Truth… My Pain

I don't believe that I am 27, and that I still don't know what I want. Actually that's not true. I know what I want, but I am scared to go for it. I am lacking courage, and the will to control my demons inside me.

I feel like I a plagued. I feel as though no one wants to get close… Truth is I don't let them. I show such a strong demeanor on the outside, but inside I feel as though I am nothing. I have nothing I want nothing.

I plain and simply just don't care. I hate myself. That's the problem. I don't want myself to succeed. I just want to go into some hole and hide, because I am scared to end it all.

I need help. The help that I need is major. I need someone in my life- something to guide me, to tell me what's right and wrong. I don't know what that is anymore. Therefore, I resort to try and make as much money as I can… and even then I spend it. I am on lent time. I know it.

I am building on sand, but don't have a stick to pull me out of the mud.